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Heard in the Office… what kind of banana are you?

Small Banana didn’t seem too pleased with his Small Banana name.

So me and Short Banana offered other names for him to consider. Well, actually, he wanted Long Banana, but we weren’t sure if it descibed any of his physical attributes. Anyways, here goes

1. Rotten Banana
2. Firm Banana
3. Turgid Banana
4. Spinning Banana?? (why did we put this ah?)
5. Chopped Banana (Small Banana’s suggestion – obviously he knew something we didn’t?)
6. Flaccid Banana (as opposed to firm Banana)
7. Copycat Banana

As the list went on, it become obvious that nothing was as suitable as Small Banana. It was a waste of good Banana time. As a result, I was very inclined to name him a wasted Banana, but I’m kind. I’m saving that one up for someone else who truely deserves it, otherwise, giving that name to him would be a good waste of banana (Banana dude, that’s a compliment lah)

Updates:. I’m changing Banana Girl 1’s name to Burnt Banana Girl 1 – only because she gets sun burnt a lot…She first appeared in this post

Breakfast Conversations… a Challenge for Chief Banana

Over some coffee and bread, tall Banana and short Banana decided to offer Chief Banana a challenge.

- $5 to wear a full banana suit and run through Orchard Road. Tall Banana offered to pay for the cost of the banana suit.

Chief Banana wasn’t impressed. Short Banana countered

- $10 to wear a full Banana suit + Pajamas and run around Orchard Road

Chief Banana still wasn’t impressed. Along the way back to office, we met small Banana and Burnt Banana Girl 1. We shared the challenge with them. Small Banana thought out loud “why do I need to pay Chief Banana to make a Banana out of himself when he’s doing a fine job as he is already…” [Chief Banana: Small Banana is an Idiot]

Anyway, short Banana made one last counter…

- Banana Suit + Pajamas in Orchard Road Doing splits….

Chief Banana did not ask how much short Banana wanted to pay for me doing that…

[Chief Banana's notes: for some of you that may not know, a lot of references here were made to Bananas in Pajamas, an Australian children's television shown sometime from 1992.]

Dinner Conversations… Chief Banana is not a racist chicken rice eater

Chief Banana was having dinner with Tall Banana. We had Chicken Rice

Chief Banana (to Chicken Rice Seller): Uncle, Chicken Rice for 2 ok? Boneless chicken meat only hor.

Chicken Rice Seller: Our chicken rice all boneless one. Don’t worry

Chief Banana and Tall Banana then got seated, and started eating. Tall Banana notices that I don’t eat some of the chicken and asks Chief Banana why?

Tall Banana: oei, how come you don’t want to eat any more chicken

Chief Banana: Those chicken not completely white one [I was referring to chicken meat that had no blood left on them]

Tall Banana: Wah, you racist …

Idiot….

Heard over lunch… Prostate Examinations, Chinese Sausages, and how to name a nail parlour?

Prostate Examinations

Chief Banana was out for lunch with 2 other Banana friends. It was a slightly rainy day, and the floors were wet. Big Banana (Banana Friend 1) said he didn’t want to get wet. Being the Bananas that we were, there were all sorts of dirty jokes about being wet and all that sort. Small Banana (Banana Friend 2) somehow talked about a 1990’s chinese R-Rated movie where a man’s head transformed into a dick, thus the term “dickhead”. (If someone can tell me the name of that movie please!).

It kinda ended with comments on fisting and prostate examination [from menshealth.about.com "The man is advised that a finger needs to be inserted into their rectum in order to examine the prostate gland."] ouch!

Chinese Sausages

Small Banana had started talking about somebody we banana people knew. In fact Chief Banana and other Banana friends had previously given this person a nickname – Lup Cheong (Chinese Sausage) because of how his lips looked like it. Before you knew it, we had gone down the slippery path and compared the Chinese Sausages to something else, and references to fingers were involved. (Those of you who know, don’t pretend you don’t…)

How to name a nail parlour

The lunch time Bananas decided to start coming up with Banana names for a nail parlour. Those that made the list include

Nail It

Cuty-Gal (think cuticles)

I “nail” who you did last summer (think movie)

I NAILED you (I need you, or … whatever your Banana minds can think of)

Nail Me

Victoria’s Nails

Victoria’s Secretes (think Victoria’s Secrets)

Along the other words that we would play with using the word nails include

A”nail”asys as in “can you please do some Anailasys on these numbers”

A”nail”yst as in “look at those tired looking Anilyst doing Anailasys even during lunch time”

A”nail”nymous as in “Chief Banana will remain Anailnymous in this blog”

Bananas!